Ever since we bought our house back home my wife and I have been living apart during the week as a "commuter couple", trying a long-distance living arrangement. She lives in our house, which is 4 miles from her workplace. I stay with my brother in the big city, which is a block away from my office. This allows me to eliminate what would be a 2+ hour commute each way. My wife and I had discussed living this way for a year or so, but the sacrifice of not being together everyday just isn't worth the benefits. Thus, I will be exploring what to do next over the next few months.
In the meantime, I'd like to share my top three tips for how my wife and I have managed to maintain most of our sanity despite living apart during the week.
1) Communicate: It's obvious and important. Send random text messages. Talk on the phone a few times a day. Post stupid things on Facebook. The goal here is to show that you think about each other. We sometimes struggle to talk as much as we'd like - we both get tired and fall asleep early, have hectic days, and don't always feel like talking. It's ok to skip a night-time chat once in a while, but not every night.
2) Have a Social Life: Just because you're not with your significant other doesn't mean you have to turn into a hermit. I've been living with my brother, so we hang out every night. Once a month or so I catch a beer or lunch with old friends who live in the city. My wife has a weekly tv night with her parents and random dinners with her childhood friends. Make the best of the arrangement.
3) Make Weekends Matter: We work like crazy on the weekends and time off. Over Christmas, we put in closet shelves. This weekend we're going to try to install our new bamboo floor. At some point we'll make a custom headboard out of reclaimed wood. Last weekend we laid in bed and watched Dexter. Just make sure to have fun doing something together with your limited time.
Without a doubt, the list is longer. I'm sure some people out there have been living apart far longer than we have and will. I will be moving back home for good in a matter of weeks, so my wife and I both recognize that our arrangement is temporary. It sucks right now, but it will pass. I can't wait to move back home.
In the meantime, I'd like to share my top three tips for how my wife and I have managed to maintain most of our sanity despite living apart during the week.
1) Communicate: It's obvious and important. Send random text messages. Talk on the phone a few times a day. Post stupid things on Facebook. The goal here is to show that you think about each other. We sometimes struggle to talk as much as we'd like - we both get tired and fall asleep early, have hectic days, and don't always feel like talking. It's ok to skip a night-time chat once in a while, but not every night.
2) Have a Social Life: Just because you're not with your significant other doesn't mean you have to turn into a hermit. I've been living with my brother, so we hang out every night. Once a month or so I catch a beer or lunch with old friends who live in the city. My wife has a weekly tv night with her parents and random dinners with her childhood friends. Make the best of the arrangement.
3) Make Weekends Matter: We work like crazy on the weekends and time off. Over Christmas, we put in closet shelves. This weekend we're going to try to install our new bamboo floor. At some point we'll make a custom headboard out of reclaimed wood. Last weekend we laid in bed and watched Dexter. Just make sure to have fun doing something together with your limited time.
Without a doubt, the list is longer. I'm sure some people out there have been living apart far longer than we have and will. I will be moving back home for good in a matter of weeks, so my wife and I both recognize that our arrangement is temporary. It sucks right now, but it will pass. I can't wait to move back home.
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